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In A Funk? Drop Your Junk!
The pace of life can sometimes be unsustainable. Relate? Life can often put you or me in such a funk that we just need to get away, & (no I’m not soliciting for southwest airlines:) I call it dropping my junk, (everyday life stuff), getting away and getting re-energized. These moments do not have to be costly, just intentional. I have had many junk, (everyday life stuff), dropping moments over the years.
I have gone to retreat centers, hotels, towns, cities, mountains, oceans, etc. You get the point. ”In a funk? Drop your junk to get a right perspective again.”
Angel dropped her junk and re-energized in Kenosha, WI. Faces, spaces, and places of refreshing for her. Hannah & Samuel (my two oldest children), retreated to Wisconsin Dells. I headed back to my hometown (New Glarus, WI). Home of “The Spotted Cow.”
When I drop my junk there are certain practices I normally do, (I’ll share those another day). But this junk dropping, funk stopping trip was different, because it entailed my hometown, which elicited all kinds of emotions and memories. I went to my old schools, homes, restaurants, places of employment, and areas of personal sentiment. A personal favorite was going to my childhood friends home, where I spent many a night as a child.
Maybe you need to road trip as well? Though your past might not always elicit good memories like mine? It is your past, and it can be a great propeller to your future health.
Are you in a funk? Give me some insight as to what you have done over the years to get out of it? Would love some insight!
RELATABILITY – Becoming Self-Aware
The premise for posts yet to come is: ”We are all hard-wired for relationships, and I want to help you grow in this area.” We all, whether consciously or unconsciously, want to be able to connect with others in life. Would you agree? Maybe I am just a “Hermiphobe?” (Scared of isolation:)
If my statement is true, “Everything rises and falls on our Relatability” (Our ability to connect relationally with God and others). Than I hope to give you some insights into how you can begin to move forward, and at least become relationally ept, in your relationships with God, and with others. Relational growth is the goal!
I believe the first step toward Relatability is: Self-Awareness.
Self-Awareness = Understanding who you really are.
You can either be very happy about that, or scared to death at the reality of that. But either way, self-awareness is the place I began my journey towards “Relatability” (My ability to connect relationally with God and with others).
First: Give yourself a little bit of time to contemplate life, and ask the big “Why?” questions. ”Why do people scare me?” ”Why do I continually have marital strife?” “Why would I rather live in isolation?” ”Why am I chronically depressed?” “Why can’t I seem to make friends?” ”Why do all my relationships seem shallow?” “Why do I butt heads with people more often than not?” “Why do I think, or feel that God is distant?” Just some thought-provoking questions, and the questions are not exhaustive.
For others of you, it may be, “Why am I so relational?” “Why does connection come easy for me?” ”Why is my marriage one of relational connectivity?” “Why am I a people magnet?” ”Why do people make themselves vulnerable with me?” “Why do I love engaging people in thought-provoking questions?” “Why am I in continual communication with God?” All key questions to becoming self-aware. You can add to the list.
If you really take the time to ask, and answer some of those above questions, I believe you will find yourself moving in the right direction to becoming self-aware, which ultimately can lead to a life of “Relatability.” (Life-giving connection with God and others).
Why questions and answers are so huge, because for me they began to illuminate my past & have brought me to my present reality, relationally. I have grown to understand why I struggle relationally at times, and why I thrive relationally at times. I have found that my “Relatability” IQ, has had so much to do with my past.
Wrap up: Where you have come from (past), (home life, parents, siblings, genetics, abuse, hurt, joy, love, failure, optimism, hope, etc), is the first key to becoming “Self-Aware”. Self-Awarness is the first step towards “Relatability”, (Your ability to connect relationally with God, and with others).
Can You Relate? Step One – Self-Awareness
Your ability to connect with God, and with others is what I call “Relatability.” My hope for us, is that we will become the most connected people in the world, as it relates to relationships. I’m not promising that you will become the life of the party, or have a gazillion friends, but I do believe your relational IQ can grow, and bring immense life-giving connection. Interested?
Connecting relationally in life, is debatably, as essential as air. To not be able to relate in life, is to be what I call relationally depressed. That conversation is for another day. I look forward to the conversation though:)
The man who has challenged me to write some posts on this topic, is Dr. Tim Elmore. Not only is he an outstanding leader, but a great author/writer as well. He has also been a communication coach for me, through Dr. John Maxwell’s leadership organization Equip. I highly recommend Tim’s website “Growing Leaders.” Also check out his article on “Emotional Health In Students, At An All Time Low.” Outstanding insights!
One of the first laws of relativity, as it relates to our relationships is: Learning to become Self-Aware. It is often that I meet people who just meander through life, unaware of who they really are. Often they wonder why they feel a void, or why there seems to be a constant barrage of relational conflict, or even relational exits in their lives? I have found that more often than not, their life has a relational fog that seems to be keeping them from really understanding who they are.
So Who Are You? Only you can really answer that question. Let me give you a kick-start by asking you some key questions. 1. Are you high maintenance with certain people (spouse, children, co-workers, etc) 2. Are you insecure? (same people grouping) 3. Are you constantly struggling to find time to relationally engage people? 4. Are you more reclusive, than inclusive with people? 5. Do people stress you out? 6. Do you live in conflict avoidance mode? 7. Do you struggle to care about others? This list could go on, but as you answer just a few of these questions, ask yourself “Why?” “Why” questions for me, have been the starting point, for becoming, “Self-Aware”.
So………..Why does this matter? ”Because everything rises and falls on our Relatability” (Your ability to connect relationally with God, and others).
Can You Relate?
Relate = Your ability to connect.
Connect to what? Relationships.
Why does that matter? Because I believe our societal breakdowns all stem from lack of relatability (our ability to connect relationally). We were wired, made, designed to be relational. When you remove, disconnect, or devalue the very essence of humanity (relationships), breakdowns are bound to occur.
If you think I’m out there? Consider a statement given by Jesus Christ when he was asked by an attorney, what the greatest law was, and there sure was plenty of them, but this is what He said, “Thou shalt love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and love your neighbor as yourself.” Luke 10:27.
That statement drips with relational content. So what does that mean for you, and me?
To love is to relate. You cannot love without relating, but you can relate without loving.
So for a few days, I’m going to share some insights into the laws of relativity (As it relates to relationships). What I think you’ll find is, some key answers to many of life’s questions, and it really has to do with you relating.
Feed My Starving Children
North Ridge Church, Central, WI, has partnered with the organization “Feed My Starving Children”. Together with other churches in our communities, we will be providing over 125,000 meals this coming April.
What is “Feed My Starving Children?” Feed My Starving Children is a non-profit Christian organization committed to feeding God’s starving children hungry in body and spirit. The approach is simple: children and adults hand-pack meals formulated specially for starving children, and they ship the meals to nearly 70 countries around the world. Click here to learn more about FMSC and how you can become involved. More specifically, if you live in the Central, WI region, and would like to make a donation to our project? Click! scroll down to Wisconsin, and specifically donate to the Marshfield, WI, project. Let’s Grip & Rip!!!
Where Have I Been?
Our families direction was radically altered, when a few months ago we accepted a new call to take on the Lead Pastor role at NorthRidgeChurch, Central WI. That is the reason for a complete halt to so many things in my life, one of them writing.
Between juggling leadership challenges of Epic Church, North Ridge Church, keeping my family in order, resignations, traveling to Latin America, selling a house, finding a new one, having our dog stolen, moving truck stolen (temporarily), and that hasn’t remotely summed it up. I need a vacation! What a ride!
So………if you have been wondering where I have been? On one heck of journey from Las Vegas, NV, back to the frozen tundra of Wisconsin. No regrets though, and both Angel and me know that we are in the zone God has desired for us. Sigh!!!!!
Now, we are settling into our new ministry endeavor. Settling into our new home (What I call “The White House” – A story for another day). And finally beginning to develop relationships with people/individuals/families, with whom God has put in our paths to Love well, do life with, and ultimately see God’s Kingdom advance through all of us.
Where have I been? In the center of God’s will! Where will it take me? To places and spaces you could never imagine. But that is ok! ”Where I have been, will ultimately lead, to where I must go!”
Intentionally Mentoring Your Children – Jason Hirsch
My two youngest (Juilia 9, Gabriel 7), were off school, Tuesday & Wednesday this week. I was able to spend one full day with them. I have learned to use a full day like that, to intentionally mentor my children. Now, that doesn’t mean that I’m not continually teaching and modeling for them, but a day of intentional mentoring is a little bit different. Don’t get me wrong, we still have fun together, I just make sure they are far more in tune to what I’m teaching/mentoring them in.
Let me explain an intentional day of mentoring my children:
1. I take them to b-fast. I teach them to order for themselves. Answer with “Yes Please, or No Thank you!”, and then make sure they clean up after themselves.
2. I spend some time on the phone, teaching them the etiquette of silence when someone is talking on the phone. Then I explain why.
3. At the church (where my office is), I let them turn on lights, and have some fun playing the drums, and singing. Then I teach them how important it is to turn off lights after leaving a room, and making sure whatever they turned on, gets turned off. Sounds simple, but repetition is huge for them learning, and implementing what I’m mentoring them in. They ask why? I explain about costs, and responsibility. ”Ohhhh!”, is often their response. Their getting it!
4. I intentionally take them to some stores. I give each one the opportunity to hold the door open for someone as they walk in. When the person says “Thank you!”, I ask them how they should respond? “Your welcome!” I rarely find someone who doesn’t say “Thank you!” to a child holding a door for them. If I do, I use it as a mentoring moment, and explain that, “If someone opened the door for you, what should you say?” Sound simple? I have met more adults that don’t say “jack” to me, when I open the door for them. What’s up with that?! Maybe they never had a mentor?:)
5. I give them 1 or 2 specific jobs to do. Not big ones, just little ones. Juilia picked-up rocks outside the church. Gabe had to clean out the car. If they respond well, and do their jobs with a happy heart, they get rewarded. If they do their job, but gripe and complain, their reward is held back. Parenting is heart-work, so I’m looking for their initial heart response when I ask them to do a task. One was rewarded yesterday, and one was not. You can guess who?
Because life can be so busy at times, I have found I need to take at least a day a month and do focused intentional mentoring for my children. Here are just a few additional things I do on these days: a. Teaching to pray at meals, b. One kind intentional thing for their sibling, c. Honor. Doing a little bit more than asked, d. Choosing words wisely, e. Taking them for a walk to debrief about what they learned that day. You can add to the list.
All the above things, Angel (my wife), and I repeatedly teach, and model. But there is nothing quite like a day of focused teaching and mentoring. Give it a try! I think you might be surprised at the positive progress you will find taking place in your children. After all, it is our job to train up our children, isn’t it!? Proverbs 22:6
Life Happens! – Jason Hirsch
Yesterday afternoon a police officer was in pursuit of a stolen car. The driver? A 17-year-old. The officer? On a motorcycle. The 17-year-old tried to run the officer over, then he fled on foot, and the officer shot a couple of times, ultimately hitting the young man in the elbow. The blood trail led to the capture and arrest of this young man. He was hiding behind an auto store.
Where it hits home is: It was right across the street from the school Angel (my wife) teaches at. Oh, and I have 3 of my 4 children attending there as well. I received a text from Angel informing me that the school was on lock-down until they found the criminal. They did!
In a day where students, particularly high-school students, have read, and know about school shootings, it was interesting to hear my daughter Hannah’s take on it all. She said an announcement came over the loud-speaker “The school is on lockdown.” Probably no need to panic, but in our day and age, you never know. She said to herself “This isn’t the way I anticipated my life ending.” “I have read about this stuff, but never thought I would be involved in something like it.” Pretty sad she would even think that way. Everything was fine!
It did give us a great time of discussion last night. Life happens, and your never guaranteed the next breath are you. In Psalm 90:12 David writes “Teach us to number our days…..” Great insight from a man who knew the highs and lows of life. Who knew that things could change in an instant. Maybe if we embrace this wisdom, it could alter (in a good way), the way we view our lives, but ultimately, how we respond when “Life Happens”, because…….IT WILL!!!
Epic Church 10-10-10 Shout Outs! – Jason Hirsch
10-10-10 – cool date. Some people will never forget their b-day!:)
Let me give some shout outs to Epic Church Las Vegas staff/leaders:
*Sarah Hoover – You did great on the picnic. Way to create connection moments for Epic Church Las Vegas.
*Amie Croutou – Thanks for organizing the mandatory fingerprinting. Our children, youth, and adults are safer because of you.
*Mike Smith – You amaze me. Thanks for stepping back in the saddle to lead worship. Your flexibility, validates your leadership even more.
*Troy Hoover – You Serve, you serve, you serve. When everybody else is going home, you don’t. You stay and you give. What a model!
*Mike Chapman – Mission, mission, mission. I haven’t met a man with a bigger heart for missions. You are literally a life saver!!!
*Monique Mingura – Your admin skills are outstanding. Any follow-up cracks we had are being sealed. Thank you!
*Nicole Chapman – I love what you’re producing with our connection guide and e-news. Way to go!
*Mickie DeVera – You challenge me to excellence, and you pushing me over the top is appreciated. Details, details, details!!!!:)
*Mike Mingura – Never met a man who can do it all, see it all, and still have margin. If we had 22 of you, the skies the limit.
*Million Quinteros – You might take a dodgeball to the head, but you don’t let that keep you down:) Thanks for making our environments friendly ones!
*All our volunteers in the nursery, pre-school, kids church, youth, host/hospitality, tech, and the list could go on. You are heroes to me. I have no currency to give you on this earth, but your rewards are getting stock-piled in heaven. One day…….One day!!!!!!
It is a pleasure serving Christ with all of you!
I love being your pastor!
We are all making disciples that will grow to love-live-give as Jesus did. Game on!